“Masturbation abstinence is popular online. Doctors and therapists are worried.”
[Yes, that’s Britney Spears, but it’s also a pretty good representation of my face when I read that NPR headline.]
Maybe it’s my Catholic upbringing, but I did not think masturbation abstinence was something I had to worry about. Then I read the article, which is really quite thoughtful and informative — and specifically about the effects of masturbation abstinence culture (#NoFap — perhaps you’ve heard that term?) on our boys & young men. We’ll come back to that in a bit…
Not 24 hours later, I encountered this sentence in a commentary published by the American Institute for Boys & Men (AIBM):
The decline in teen dating is not good for young people, especially men, since these early romantic relationships offer vital opportunities for developing relational skills and confidence.
I don’t think I’m alone in reading that & thinking, Now I should worry about whether or not my son is dating too?? Just getting him through high school is hard enough…
Full disclosure: I only have one son still in high school, and, as of this moment, he has a girlfriend. Some of my boys have dated in high school; some more seriously than others.
I’m not anti-dating and I’m not anti-masturbation. I AM anti-alarmism, and that’s why I’m writing about these two articles. Both of them address important issues that we should consider and discuss. But both of them are framed — and promoted on social media — in such a way that they trigger emotional reaction & clicks.
I know that’s how media works these days. As a freelance writer who’s also in competition for audience & income, I get it. I just don’t think it’s at all helpful to parents, boys, or society.
The breakdown: What you need to know about boys, masturbation, & dating
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