Building Boys Bulletin 8-5-24

Male role models

Have you been watching the Olympics with your boys?

Talk about a treasure trove of positive masculinity!

There’s Stephen Nedoroscik, aka “pommel horse guy,” the bespectacled engineering student who helped the US Men’s Gymnastics team win gold and honors his late grandfather with a cute ear tug

There’s the entire US Men’s Gymnastics team, supporting one another & celebrating their team Bronze. (Click the link & watch their reactions from 1:48-2:02)

There’s Snoop Dogg, gangster rapper-turned-Olympic commentator. If your boys don’t yet know Snoop’s story, share it with them. Snoop was a boy who got his nickname because he loved Snoopy; a black boy growing up in a poor part of LA when crack & gangs were part of daily life; a rapper who faced a murder charge, who grew up into a man who married (& his still married to) his high school sweetheart, raised a family, and consistently brings positivity to the world.

There’s also Flava Flav, another rapper who’s making waves at the Olympics because he answered the US Women’s Polo Team’s cry for help & is sponsoring & supporting the team.

There’s Jonathan Owens, an NFL player who took time off from training camp to support his wife, Simone Biles.

And there’s most of the US Men’s Basketball team, in the stands, supporting Biles.

Positive Male Role Models Are Everywhere

Culturally, we spend a lot of time focusing on the negatives, especially when talking about boys, men, & masculinity. So many words have been spilled worrying about Andrew Tate’s influence on boys & young men. Too few words have been shared celebrating the men who are consistently modeling healthy masculine behavior.

There are so many of them! In addition to those previously mentioned, there’s Travis Kelce, a NFL player who happens to be Taylor Swift’s boyfriend & is very public about his support of his girlfriend’s work, and Doug Emhoff, who is currently Second Gentlemen of the United States and could become the United State’s first First Gentlemen. (Yes, he had an affair during his first marriage. But role models, I think, don’t have to be perfect. In my opinion, some of the best role models are people who’ve made & learned from mistakes.)

There are also millions of regular men who support their families, loved one, and communities in ways big & small, each and every day.

Our boys are growing up in a time when men publicly cheer for women’s sports, when men support their wives’ & girlfriends’ ambitions, when a male may become First Gentlemen. Yes, there are voices — some of them loud — that view these things as a threat & encourage boys to dominate women, other men, and all else. But those voices are far fewer than we sometimes think. I’m convinced that there are far more good men than not. Let’s amplify and acknowledge their voices & actions.

Here’s to building boys!
Jennifer

IN THE NEWS

Why Does Traditional Masculinity Have Such Longevity, Even Among Younger Boys?

Highlights:

• “Wanting to live up to society's standards of gender can affect how we choose to live our lives—and often in a way that makes us unhappy.”

• This is the reality our boys are trying to navigate: “Acts of aggression in response to challenges of masculinity are both decried and supported in society.”

Supporting Boys to Belong

Highlights:

• ‘To support boys in being more authentic, we need to honour and acknowledge the gifts that they are bringing to the world.”

• “To help boys form the right conditions for belonging, they need time to discuss and unpack what they are seeing and how they are feeling.”

• “Taking time to acknowledge in the boys and young men the good they do – acts of kindness, compassion, consideration, care and support – helps to amplify in them the good values and aspirations.”

Adolescent & Young Adult Use of Muscle-Building Dietary Supplements: Guidance for Assessment & Harm Reduction Approaches to Mitgate Risks

Highlights:

• “Lifetime and 12-month prevalence estimates of protein supplement use range from 55%–83% for boys and young men, and creatine use ranges from 19%–50%”

• “In general, health-care professionals can consider taking a harm reduction approach when assessing and intervening with adolescent and young adult use of muscle-building supplements.”

• Health-care professionals should consider asking about muscle-building supplement use with all of their adolescent and young adult clients 

National Urban League Focuses on Helping Young Black Males

Highlights:

• “A lot of young black males have fallen through the cracks because we didn’t give them something to be a part of”

• “Black masculinity is not negative”

• “Young African American males need to be better engaged by those doing positive work”

9 Things I’m Doing to Teach My Teenage Son About “Toxic Masculinity”

Highlights:

•  'Parents need to focus less on masculinity being a problem and more on masculinity being a healthy and natural expression in many boys and young men.'

• “If my son says something 'bad' and I respond with, 'You can't say that!' he gets very embarrassed that he 'got it wrong'. Now I say, 'Why do you think that?'”

Gen Zers to Their Parents: When We are Upset, Just Listen

Highlights:

• 62% say they want their parents to listen to them when they are upset, and 56% want their parents to give them space

• “Male and female Gen Zers each have unique ways of coping with their emotions. 2/3 of Gen Z boys prefer to play video games when they are upset, which is about 3X the rate for girls (23%).”

• Gen Z boys “prefer to play video games when they are upset…{they] are also more likely than girls to engage in physical activity or spend time on YouTube when they are upset”

Parents Need to Talk to Their Sons About Care

Highlights:

• “If we want equity in heterosexual partnerships, we need to be teaching young men to consider the balance of care and work.”

• “Since we know girls get strong cultural messages about care responsibilities…future equity might require talking to boys about caregiving far more than we talk to girls.”

• “Don’t let boys off the hook of this conversation; even if your son wants a time-intense job and thinks paying for care is enough, remind him that caregiving is everyone’s responsibility.”

• Boys need to know: “we all receive care at some point in our lives, and we should all plan to give care as well.”

My Son is Heading to College in the Fall & He’s Behaving Worse Than Ever. I Finally Understand Why.

Highlights:

• “Our relationship, which up until now had been quite close, is shifting… I know this breakaway is a normal, healthy part of the parenting process” but….

• “Subconsciously, they want to make us so uncomfortable that everyone's relieved when we show them the door.”

“I’m So Sorry, I’ve Got Cancer”: Why Do Two of Every Five Australian Men Die Early From Preventable Conditions?

Highlights:

• 2 in every 5 Australian men – more than 37,000 Australian men every year – who die too young, mostly due to conditions which could have been prevented

• “Healthcare workers need to be more aware of the gender biases they and their patients are influenced by”

Men’s Health is Falling Behind: Some Thoughts About Why

Highlights:

• One reason why so many men aren’t working: Poor health. 26% of men of prime working age report being unable to work because of sickness, compared to 18% of women

•  Lower health literacy and greater reliance on social media for information gathering may increase men’s susceptibility to online misinformation, which may subsequently affect their health

• “While continuing to also emphasize the deficits and need for action for women’s health and the many other sources of disparities in health outcomes in our society, the public health community, the health system, policy makers, and society at large should have a focus on understanding the drivers of men’s declining health”

ON BOYS Podcast

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