Yikes. As a mom of four boys with whom I have close, loving, and decidedly not-creepy relationships with plenty of space for boundaries and nuance, my mind is blown by the aggressively salacious language quoted from those #boymom articles. "The term ‘BoyMom’ is a cutesy, nuance-annihilating addition to parental vocabulary, already laden with infantilizing slang that makes its users nearly as childish as their offspring"???? I bet that author is fun at parties. Also, I know it's de rigueur to bring rape culture into every conversation, and of course, it's a real thing, but it helps nobody (boys OR girls) to casually toss it into conversations where there's not a strong case it belongs.
Admittedly, I do know people whose social posts and general attitudes about their young adult sons make me cringe a bit. It's not really about the fact that they are "boymoms", though; it's more that they seem unable to separate themselves from their children as they grow. It reads more as dependence than love, and it does trip a "something ain't right here" trigger in my head. On the other hand, it could happen with children of any gender; I think we're just more conditioned to see it when it's a mom-son than when it's a mom-daughter. Thank you for the reminder that this bias goes way, wayyy back!
No offense to the author of that article but that was such a useless piece of clickbait. Turning a few Tiktok conversations into a "trend" is dumb. Of course there will always be weirdo parents of every stripe who are intense and inappropriate. Boymom can just be a shorthand for those of us who do what we do and doesn't have to automatically refer to those moms who think of their sons as their boyfriends as whatever.
Half the time, nay, most of the time, #boymom is used sarcastically anyway. I mean, yeah, it’s true that our sons often talk about boogers and things like that (mine’s five. He’s in that phase), but our sons are also smart, caring (well, mine is) and all round amazing!!! Oh, and mine also loves bugs and other creepy crawly things. He’s very well-versed in them. He just told me this morning that it would take a snail two hours to cross a soccer field. He’s…Wikipedia!
Yikes. As a mom of four boys with whom I have close, loving, and decidedly not-creepy relationships with plenty of space for boundaries and nuance, my mind is blown by the aggressively salacious language quoted from those #boymom articles. "The term ‘BoyMom’ is a cutesy, nuance-annihilating addition to parental vocabulary, already laden with infantilizing slang that makes its users nearly as childish as their offspring"???? I bet that author is fun at parties. Also, I know it's de rigueur to bring rape culture into every conversation, and of course, it's a real thing, but it helps nobody (boys OR girls) to casually toss it into conversations where there's not a strong case it belongs.
Admittedly, I do know people whose social posts and general attitudes about their young adult sons make me cringe a bit. It's not really about the fact that they are "boymoms", though; it's more that they seem unable to separate themselves from their children as they grow. It reads more as dependence than love, and it does trip a "something ain't right here" trigger in my head. On the other hand, it could happen with children of any gender; I think we're just more conditioned to see it when it's a mom-son than when it's a mom-daughter. Thank you for the reminder that this bias goes way, wayyy back!
No offense to the author of that article but that was such a useless piece of clickbait. Turning a few Tiktok conversations into a "trend" is dumb. Of course there will always be weirdo parents of every stripe who are intense and inappropriate. Boymom can just be a shorthand for those of us who do what we do and doesn't have to automatically refer to those moms who think of their sons as their boyfriends as whatever.
I'm crabby today/always.
Half the time, nay, most of the time, #boymom is used sarcastically anyway. I mean, yeah, it’s true that our sons often talk about boogers and things like that (mine’s five. He’s in that phase), but our sons are also smart, caring (well, mine is) and all round amazing!!! Oh, and mine also loves bugs and other creepy crawly things. He’s very well-versed in them. He just told me this morning that it would take a snail two hours to cross a soccer field. He’s…Wikipedia!