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CynthiaCM's avatar

I recently had meetings with my six year old's teachers. Every single one of them said he needed some "maturing" before needing to test for ADHD (he has issues sitting still, especially around some of the (male) students in his class). While I agree that he may need some OT (he has a tendency to eat with his hands and still cannot handle a knife. He can use a fork and a spoon well enough but that isn't his preference unless it's necessary. Forget about chopsticks, which kind of breaks my child-of-Hong Kong-immigrant's heart), I'm not sure if it's functional or sensory. He won't say why he likes to eat with his hands, probably because he doesn't want to be judged (he knows that my husband and I aren't fans of it). Everyone is telling me to let him "just be a boy," but when is "just being a boy" normal and when does it become problematic?

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Jennifer L.W. Fink's avatar

That's the million dollar question right there! It's the one we all worry about (& the one that doesn't have a simple, easy, 1-sentence answer). 2 things I find helpful in answering/addressing that question every time it comes up: 1) Talk to other parents of boys, including those with boys older than yours. 2) Talk w relevant professionals -- teachers, if it's a school issue, your pediatrician if it's a developmental/physical issue. If the consensus of most of those ppl is "yep. [the issue] is common for boys this age & typically improves as they mature," you can usually safely let it go for awhile.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

I have an idea for a story for you bc I'm too tired to run it down myself -- what do the moms of the DOGE bois think about what they're up to? I would be pretty unhappy if my kids were up in government business following some drugged up promiscuous Pied Piper

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PR's avatar

We need to make ed single sex again.

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Jennifer L.W. Fink's avatar

Do you think all ed (all ages & levels) should be single sex? Do you think there's a role for co-education?

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PR's avatar

Good question. Few thougths:

1. My six years old boy ask me that "medicine is for girls, rigth?" I have a 9 yo daugther. So gender is internalised soon, and to the detriment of boys more than girls. But ultimsley I belive that both Will benefit from single sex.

2. The other day I was reading the values of my kids school:

Caring. Respect. Be the best.

Or something like that.

Where is: "Be competitive. Have initiative. Be comurious. Be strong. Work like a pack"?

So the values are presented in a soft and femenine way that is not apelling to boys.

3. My 6 yo boy suffers a strong bias from his teacher. While my girl is exactly the other way around. I know them very well, and I see a worst treatment of my boy than my girl.

So, yes. All after kinder, single sex.

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Jennifer L.W. Fink's avatar

I've now heard from a few people whose young sons have assumed the medicine/being a doctor is for girls, because that's what they're primarily growing up with and see. What a shift since most of us were young, and what an opportunity to discuss with our children the fact that medicine (and all careers) are open to all people! (A great time to talk about what it takes to pursue careers they express curiosity in as well)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience.

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PR's avatar

My kids has seen a lot of male doctors. However, I think is more the discussion in peers. Girls say they want to be doctors, and boy hence reject that.

Thats why single sex is so required. For bith boys and girls.

This reduces the bias of teachers against boys, and boys misconduct (doing well is not for girls). And improves the limitation of girls.

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PR's avatar

In any case, the real problem is we believed that women deserve help, and men dont. Terrible.

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Jennifer L.W. Fink's avatar

We all need help :)

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