When I refer to women, I dont refer to your generation (I assume, similar to my mother, who also raised 4 mem. All of the quite successful).
I refer to the generation of feminist teachers that are falling now and have been for the past 20 years.
I am not feminist, sorry. I think men deserve a separte movement, not even with the mental frame of feminist. We dont "have" to be feminists.
For instance, I do not belive men and women are equal: I dont believe in equalizing results. Men produce more and are less dependent on public resources: why should men accept sharing our resources with women thought the tax system?
As a man, and father of a girl and a boy, I am prepared for my boy to have a worst outcome in life, PROVIDED that men resourses are directed by men (and women by women). I believe that the only way each gender will have a guarantee of not being oppressed by the other is that the decision making of the policies affecting that gender (education, health.
, taxes...) is directed by that gender.
As an example: I dont care if men have more University education PROVIDED that men dont have less because they are being artificially blocked by women (or by the Government in the name of women).
I trust men. So I trust that, if men goes less to the Uni is because they are chlsibg better path for them. But this requieres someone to ensure that they are aware of their possibilities and created a system that allow the to thrive. And this means directing men resources to men. Sorry, I dont longer trust a women to do that job.
Women (the current one) have been more concerned about themselves that about their male kids, and are far different to you or my mum. [btw, I am now seeing a new generation of boys mothers that are more aware of the problems and, therefore, have abandonded feminism in full]>
I will not discuss to which extent feminism was required or not. My mother would disagree with you in this point. We had a 1. More productive society, 2. Less loneley society 3. Less sucidal society 4. More kids society... Where is society now better?
Women were in that society better than young men are in the current one.
Young men 1 earn less 2 are less educated [as women were]... But also live shorter! [Women lived longer]
So, in addirion to the social gender gaps that has been ALSO against men in ALL society, Young men now ALSO have the economic gap against them.
Not to mention the dating gap or the empaty gap.
So, no, I dont believe feminist has created a better society or was necesary. It was just a tool to reduce fertility.
And I do belive that the only way to solve this (at least, from a mens perspective) is to give women what women wanted: total independence from men. But I mean TOTAL. And TOTAL means total independence for men... from women.
How will total independence for men, from women (and women from men) help anything? Without one another, the species literally will not survive. We need healthy interdependence to survive & thrive.
Total independence doesnt mean you dont have relationships. It means that you are independent from a polítical and economic point of view on key aspects.
Eg. What should men pay taxes to cover the (Biden ideas) or repaying students loans (which are mostly taken by women)?
Or in Europe, why should men subsidiaze with taxes Universities that are used more than women?
Yes, you may agree that the solution is to share Universities equally by women and men. But this solution fails to acknowlede the fact that women may want (or need) more University education and men may not want so much University education.
Why should we have Universities at all?
Men may reach the conclusión that Universities are not requited ar all. Why should we prevent men to make such decision?
The same happens with public workers (70% women in Denmark). Why should men pay for that?
And the solution is not having 50%/50%. The solution may be reducing public workers to the minimum.
But women will never vote for this type of things because 1 they pay less and 2 they benefit more. And as women are a majority, they have basically imposed a system of transfering money from men to women througth the State.
You see the point?
I dont want to share the State. I dont want men becomining public servant. I want to reduce the State to the minimum, a solution that women will never share.
Hello again! Between my day job and my hobby as a keyboard warrior and occasional writer, I read. At the moment I am enjoying "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, and she touches on something that I have my own memories of (long before the advent of internet porn). She is writing about sex and teen boys (p. 66 - 67 in my edition): "Young teen boys are often totally, single-mindedly consumed with sexual fantasies, girls' body parts and the need to masturbate. Their reluctance to talk to adults comes out of the magical thinking that grown-ups will read between their spoken lines and the look in their eyes and know that the subject of sex has taken them over, mind, body, and soul. A teenage boy feels alone and ashamed by his thoughts."
This does not mean I dispute the need to "provide our boys with accurate information regarding sex, health and contraception, and why it’s absolutely crucial to talk to our boys about love, respect and relationships as well." It is an essential conversation to have. But, and here's my thing, how to you "square the circle" without adding more shame? What is "accurate information regarding sex"? I have my own thoughts on this, but I am curious to know yours.
Briefly: I think you start by acknowledging that curiosity and sexual fantasies and urges are normal. And you continue to do so, while also talking about and sharing information and values. Boys (& girls) need info re how their bodies work & how others’ bodies work. They need to know the mechanics of sex and pregnancy/STI prevention AND they also need to know good reasons vs. not-good reasons to have sex. (We adults too often focus on all the “bad” things that can happen when having sex, without talking at all about the good things and how to determine when or why sex might be a good idea). We also have to talk about (& model, if we can) relationships. Studies have shown that teen boys care about relationships too, not just sex. They WANT to know how to connect with other humans romantically and sexually. They want to know how to ask people out, how to say yes & how to say no. All of this is way too much for one conversation; it’s spread out over weeks and months and years.
We are aligned! And this underscores the importance of being available for your children and times over time. The conversation is a continuous one. Secondly, it shows the importance of dual parenting. I am more (possibly) in tune (or accepting) with/of my sons (or other young men's) fantasies and curiosities - I've probably shared them at some point in time, while my wife can contrast them with her own thoughts and memories of how it was to be a young woman, and what she was looking for in a relationship. Thus providing more of a complete picture.
At this stage, the situation is so urgent that we need segregated schools failled with men teachers. Women has failed to educate men.
"Playing with sticks, swords, and toy guns is absolutely OK." -- and with action mans, with he man.
It is not only ok, It is necesdary.
I fully agree with your manifesto, but a HUGE point is missing: feminism and left policies have failed men. Period. Equality has gone so far so far that we have forgotteb about boys and Men.
PR, I can't help but take some of this personally. *I* am a woman. *I* have personally raised and educated 4 boys to men. And a woman, I am also acutely aware of the need for and history of feminism. I know that the word "feminism" has many different meanings to different ppl. I know that feminism, as a movement, is imperfect -- as all all movements created by and composed of humans. I believe is is possible to advocate for and help boys & men without completely separating men & women, boys & girls. I believe it's possible (& preferable) to advocate for and help men, women, boys, girls, and all people.
I love having a boy. Thanks for all your tidbits and reminders — about what they’re like and how they’re different from, well, girls.
Thanks, Caren!
Hi Jennifer,
When I refer to women, I dont refer to your generation (I assume, similar to my mother, who also raised 4 mem. All of the quite successful).
I refer to the generation of feminist teachers that are falling now and have been for the past 20 years.
I am not feminist, sorry. I think men deserve a separte movement, not even with the mental frame of feminist. We dont "have" to be feminists.
For instance, I do not belive men and women are equal: I dont believe in equalizing results. Men produce more and are less dependent on public resources: why should men accept sharing our resources with women thought the tax system?
As a man, and father of a girl and a boy, I am prepared for my boy to have a worst outcome in life, PROVIDED that men resourses are directed by men (and women by women). I believe that the only way each gender will have a guarantee of not being oppressed by the other is that the decision making of the policies affecting that gender (education, health.
, taxes...) is directed by that gender.
As an example: I dont care if men have more University education PROVIDED that men dont have less because they are being artificially blocked by women (or by the Government in the name of women).
I trust men. So I trust that, if men goes less to the Uni is because they are chlsibg better path for them. But this requieres someone to ensure that they are aware of their possibilities and created a system that allow the to thrive. And this means directing men resources to men. Sorry, I dont longer trust a women to do that job.
Women (the current one) have been more concerned about themselves that about their male kids, and are far different to you or my mum. [btw, I am now seeing a new generation of boys mothers that are more aware of the problems and, therefore, have abandonded feminism in full]>
I will not discuss to which extent feminism was required or not. My mother would disagree with you in this point. We had a 1. More productive society, 2. Less loneley society 3. Less sucidal society 4. More kids society... Where is society now better?
Women were in that society better than young men are in the current one.
Young men 1 earn less 2 are less educated [as women were]... But also live shorter! [Women lived longer]
So, in addirion to the social gender gaps that has been ALSO against men in ALL society, Young men now ALSO have the economic gap against them.
Not to mention the dating gap or the empaty gap.
So, no, I dont believe feminist has created a better society or was necesary. It was just a tool to reduce fertility.
And I do belive that the only way to solve this (at least, from a mens perspective) is to give women what women wanted: total independence from men. But I mean TOTAL. And TOTAL means total independence for men... from women.
How will total independence for men, from women (and women from men) help anything? Without one another, the species literally will not survive. We need healthy interdependence to survive & thrive.
Total independence doesnt mean you dont have relationships. It means that you are independent from a polítical and economic point of view on key aspects.
Eg. What should men pay taxes to cover the (Biden ideas) or repaying students loans (which are mostly taken by women)?
Or in Europe, why should men subsidiaze with taxes Universities that are used more than women?
Yes, you may agree that the solution is to share Universities equally by women and men. But this solution fails to acknowlede the fact that women may want (or need) more University education and men may not want so much University education.
Why should we have Universities at all?
Men may reach the conclusión that Universities are not requited ar all. Why should we prevent men to make such decision?
The same happens with public workers (70% women in Denmark). Why should men pay for that?
And the solution is not having 50%/50%. The solution may be reducing public workers to the minimum.
But women will never vote for this type of things because 1 they pay less and 2 they benefit more. And as women are a majority, they have basically imposed a system of transfering money from men to women througth the State.
You see the point?
I dont want to share the State. I dont want men becomining public servant. I want to reduce the State to the minimum, a solution that women will never share.
Jen,
This is great. I love everything you included here.
Thank you! That means a lot coming from you.
Hello again! Between my day job and my hobby as a keyboard warrior and occasional writer, I read. At the moment I am enjoying "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, and she touches on something that I have my own memories of (long before the advent of internet porn). She is writing about sex and teen boys (p. 66 - 67 in my edition): "Young teen boys are often totally, single-mindedly consumed with sexual fantasies, girls' body parts and the need to masturbate. Their reluctance to talk to adults comes out of the magical thinking that grown-ups will read between their spoken lines and the look in their eyes and know that the subject of sex has taken them over, mind, body, and soul. A teenage boy feels alone and ashamed by his thoughts."
This does not mean I dispute the need to "provide our boys with accurate information regarding sex, health and contraception, and why it’s absolutely crucial to talk to our boys about love, respect and relationships as well." It is an essential conversation to have. But, and here's my thing, how to you "square the circle" without adding more shame? What is "accurate information regarding sex"? I have my own thoughts on this, but I am curious to know yours.
Briefly: I think you start by acknowledging that curiosity and sexual fantasies and urges are normal. And you continue to do so, while also talking about and sharing information and values. Boys (& girls) need info re how their bodies work & how others’ bodies work. They need to know the mechanics of sex and pregnancy/STI prevention AND they also need to know good reasons vs. not-good reasons to have sex. (We adults too often focus on all the “bad” things that can happen when having sex, without talking at all about the good things and how to determine when or why sex might be a good idea). We also have to talk about (& model, if we can) relationships. Studies have shown that teen boys care about relationships too, not just sex. They WANT to know how to connect with other humans romantically and sexually. They want to know how to ask people out, how to say yes & how to say no. All of this is way too much for one conversation; it’s spread out over weeks and months and years.
We are aligned! And this underscores the importance of being available for your children and times over time. The conversation is a continuous one. Secondly, it shows the importance of dual parenting. I am more (possibly) in tune (or accepting) with/of my sons (or other young men's) fantasies and curiosities - I've probably shared them at some point in time, while my wife can contrast them with her own thoughts and memories of how it was to be a young woman, and what she was looking for in a relationship. Thus providing more of a complete picture.
Excellent point re the dual parenting!
At this stage, the situation is so urgent that we need segregated schools failled with men teachers. Women has failed to educate men.
"Playing with sticks, swords, and toy guns is absolutely OK." -- and with action mans, with he man.
It is not only ok, It is necesdary.
I fully agree with your manifesto, but a HUGE point is missing: feminism and left policies have failed men. Period. Equality has gone so far so far that we have forgotteb about boys and Men.
Its our turn of gender equality. Now.
PR, I can't help but take some of this personally. *I* am a woman. *I* have personally raised and educated 4 boys to men. And a woman, I am also acutely aware of the need for and history of feminism. I know that the word "feminism" has many different meanings to different ppl. I know that feminism, as a movement, is imperfect -- as all all movements created by and composed of humans. I believe is is possible to advocate for and help boys & men without completely separating men & women, boys & girls. I believe it's possible (& preferable) to advocate for and help men, women, boys, girls, and all people.