I am a LOUD AND PROUD Boy Mom. And I'm trying SO HARD to encourage my son to share his feelings and that being silent does NOTHING. Take for example, this morning. I asked him whether he was okay with ABJ (almond butter and jam) toast for breakfast. He said yes. I made him ABJ, which he barely touched. I asked if he was hungry (I knew he was. I mean, he's a 6 year old boy!) or feeling sick. He said no. Then, I asked something else, I asked him if he wanted a slice of cheese. He said yes (when he doesn't want to eat, I'll always give him that as an alternative. It's a test to see if he really IS full). So yep, a slice of cheddar it was. And he ate the whole thing. Should I have given him a choice ("grilled" cheese (technically, it's cheese melted on a slice of sandwich bread, done in the toaster oven. It's how my mom made it and my mom called it "grilled cheese")? Sure. But I didn't do that this morning because we were in a hurry. He likes to please people, so he doesn't use his voice too much. He's lucky so far not to have been a victim to a bully. But he's also one of the popular kids in class.....
I’m sure you’ll support his right to articulate his feelings… right up until he begins to disagree with the feminist ideology, which ontologically diminishes his authentic humanity.
Please refrain from making predictions and assumptions about what other people will or won't do in my comments section. I want this to be a place for people to share ideas & to learn from one another, not a place where people pounce on one another.
I am a LOUD and PROUD BOY MOM of a 6 year old bc to me it means I have a responsibility, that I lovingly take VERY seriously, to ensure I do everything in my power to raise a boy who, when he becomes a man, will NEVER be the guy who makes a woman feel unsafe. If all moms of boys took their role seriously we would have the power to raise a generation of kind, respectful, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent young men. Yes, in the world we live in girls must be raised to be strong but we boy moms have the opportunity to shift our society so that girls don’t have to learn to protect themselves bc the boys we BOY MOMS raise could be the first generation that don’t make women feel unsafe. Maybe it’s a pipe-dream but I am nonetheless unwavering in my commitment.
Good on ya, Jen! Without feeling they are on an intentional mission, mothers of girls automatically understand and address the gender-specific issues facing their daughters. Since they don't have to work to be conscious and intentional about it, they don't think of themselves as girl moms, they're just moms... but they are girl moms and often more fiercely and with much more support than boy moms get for their special mission. Does that sound right?
I respect your commitment, and I think you have good intentions. But the issue with your approach is that you still regard boys as a mere extension of yourself. I wonder if you’d be willing to have a young man, such as myself, on your podcast who would challenge many of the feminist precepts that you seem to be bound by. I don’t know, I suppose it depends upon whether or not your capacity to empathize with HALF of humanity surpasses your a priori ideological commitments.
Hi Lance -- Something you may not know about me: I have raised 4 sons who are all young adults right now. One of the very many things that parenting taught me is that our children are most definitely not extensions of us; each of us is a unique human being.
We are always interested in podcast guests. Please feel free to DM me more info about you, so I can share with my co-host & we can continue this conversation.
"Boys Will Be ____: The Online Lives of Boys Who are Embracing Positive Masculinity (a great report by our friends at Next Gen Men!)"
I call this covert misandry, or feminist-approved "masculinity". Instead of paying attention to the issues boys face, they make it about "masculinity" To use the term "positive masculinity" implies that there is also "negative masculinity". Does anyone dare talk about psotive or negative "blackness", or positive/negative "Jewishness"? Of course they don't.
As I see it, masculinity is about standing up for what is fair and right. For me, that entails standing up to the feminist red herring of "positive ,masculinity", which is a diversion away from acknoeledging and addressing the issues that boys face. Masculinity for me has also entailed standing up to the open discrimination against men by the feminists in Human Resources.
I am a LOUD AND PROUD Boy Mom. And I'm trying SO HARD to encourage my son to share his feelings and that being silent does NOTHING. Take for example, this morning. I asked him whether he was okay with ABJ (almond butter and jam) toast for breakfast. He said yes. I made him ABJ, which he barely touched. I asked if he was hungry (I knew he was. I mean, he's a 6 year old boy!) or feeling sick. He said no. Then, I asked something else, I asked him if he wanted a slice of cheese. He said yes (when he doesn't want to eat, I'll always give him that as an alternative. It's a test to see if he really IS full). So yep, a slice of cheddar it was. And he ate the whole thing. Should I have given him a choice ("grilled" cheese (technically, it's cheese melted on a slice of sandwich bread, done in the toaster oven. It's how my mom made it and my mom called it "grilled cheese")? Sure. But I didn't do that this morning because we were in a hurry. He likes to please people, so he doesn't use his voice too much. He's lucky so far not to have been a victim to a bully. But he's also one of the popular kids in class.....
You're doing a great job, Cynthia! He's 6; he will continue to learn & grow, with your support & love. Keep it up!
I’m sure you’ll support his right to articulate his feelings… right up until he begins to disagree with the feminist ideology, which ontologically diminishes his authentic humanity.
Please refrain from making predictions and assumptions about what other people will or won't do in my comments section. I want this to be a place for people to share ideas & to learn from one another, not a place where people pounce on one another.
Fair enough. I will admit to feeling personally “pounced upon” by the ideology in question… perhaps I’m coming at things a little too hot.
I am a LOUD and PROUD BOY MOM of a 6 year old bc to me it means I have a responsibility, that I lovingly take VERY seriously, to ensure I do everything in my power to raise a boy who, when he becomes a man, will NEVER be the guy who makes a woman feel unsafe. If all moms of boys took their role seriously we would have the power to raise a generation of kind, respectful, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent young men. Yes, in the world we live in girls must be raised to be strong but we boy moms have the opportunity to shift our society so that girls don’t have to learn to protect themselves bc the boys we BOY MOMS raise could be the first generation that don’t make women feel unsafe. Maybe it’s a pipe-dream but I am nonetheless unwavering in my commitment.
Good on ya, Jen! Without feeling they are on an intentional mission, mothers of girls automatically understand and address the gender-specific issues facing their daughters. Since they don't have to work to be conscious and intentional about it, they don't think of themselves as girl moms, they're just moms... but they are girl moms and often more fiercely and with much more support than boy moms get for their special mission. Does that sound right?
It does. You said it well, Jack!
I respect your commitment, and I think you have good intentions. But the issue with your approach is that you still regard boys as a mere extension of yourself. I wonder if you’d be willing to have a young man, such as myself, on your podcast who would challenge many of the feminist precepts that you seem to be bound by. I don’t know, I suppose it depends upon whether or not your capacity to empathize with HALF of humanity surpasses your a priori ideological commitments.
Hi Lance -- Something you may not know about me: I have raised 4 sons who are all young adults right now. One of the very many things that parenting taught me is that our children are most definitely not extensions of us; each of us is a unique human being.
We are always interested in podcast guests. Please feel free to DM me more info about you, so I can share with my co-host & we can continue this conversation.
I appreciate your open-mindedness, I will certainly DM you at some point; as a long time listener, I’d be very keen to speak with you.
"Boys Will Be ____: The Online Lives of Boys Who are Embracing Positive Masculinity (a great report by our friends at Next Gen Men!)"
I call this covert misandry, or feminist-approved "masculinity". Instead of paying attention to the issues boys face, they make it about "masculinity" To use the term "positive masculinity" implies that there is also "negative masculinity". Does anyone dare talk about psotive or negative "blackness", or positive/negative "Jewishness"? Of course they don't.
As I see it, masculinity is about standing up for what is fair and right. For me, that entails standing up to the feminist red herring of "positive ,masculinity", which is a diversion away from acknoeledging and addressing the issues that boys face. Masculinity for me has also entailed standing up to the open discrimination against men by the feminists in Human Resources.